we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My dick has a subreddit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
