pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
