No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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