I want to make a zoo with you.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
