Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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