Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ladies don't puke and tell
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
