Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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