You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize
