the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
