i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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