Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
