Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
