I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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