I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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