This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's never too late to be topless.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
