You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
