You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
