I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
