I feel great
I just peed on a car
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
