The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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