If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
