so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
