She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
