I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
