I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
