I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Porn is love you can see.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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