please come you make the beer taste better
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
