I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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