friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
