sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just puked most of my soul out..
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
