Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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