i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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