Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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