I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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