everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
