I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think I won the penis lottery.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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