ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
