YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
