I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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