I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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