paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
