the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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