I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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