Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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