you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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