your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
