My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
