DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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