so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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