He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would fuck him just for his dog
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
