just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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