i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
