Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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