You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
