we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
