a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You ruined the universe
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
