Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
