Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
