A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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