i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
