everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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