That's intense
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
