just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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