the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
