I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
