So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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