so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
