I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
