Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
