so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
