matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
