woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
