i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
