I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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