An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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