This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
