guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize