Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
The beer is more important than you right now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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