hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
