I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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