i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
