so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize